Every day, I will post a new meandering.

I am not allowed to read for a whole week because Julia Cameron is mean and won’t let me live vicariously through books.  I guess all I can do is make something myself.


Her eyes are glassy.  I know that she is about to make something out of nothing when they shine like this.

How did she manage to get black eye-lashes with hair so pale?

She is a little bird.  One of the finch sort with a beak made to crush tiny things.  She makes me feel as insignificant as her supper of sesame seeds.

This manipulation is spell casting.  She glows as she feigns insecurity by biting her lip and overtly brushing her hair from her eyes, only to let it fall back so perfectly.

The is how she makes you love her.

I am not writing this to make her out to be evil.  I speculate that she learned the practice of soul sucking from someone else that also uses this method to get by. This was accidental, and she spreads this wildfire by teaching the same practice to everyone else.

Sometimes I see glimpses of this in myself.

I have formed this habit that involves breathing a certain way so that I cry.  At first, this was difficult.  But now it is a science.

You have to breathe so that it gets trapped in your chest and you start to panic a bit.  Every fourth or fifth breath, you breath all of the way down to your pelvis, then let it out.

All of the panic you are holding manifests on the exhale.

People respond to this kind of crying.  

It is exotic and messy.

It makes them glad that they aren’t you, but jealous that they are not experiencing such release.